Log in

No account? Create an account
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet [entries|friends|calendar]
♥♥♥Three Strikes...you're mine

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
His name is Dre. He's a 15 year old Soph. at HHS. He lives in Haverhill, Massachusettes His eyes are dark brown, along with his hair...even though it's usually a different color...He's a gay catholic. What an oxymoron...

Britney Spears
Fall Out Boy
Goo Goo Dolls
Something Corporate
bright eyes
the killers
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Wednesday 8/17/05 @ 4:30 am]
You're not even worth a fucking livejournal post.

I never want to see your face again.

journal is now friends only. If you read my journal and want to stay, leave a comment please
8 | comment

[Thursday 7/14/05 @ 3:55 pm]
Once again...come join...Collapse )
2 | comment

Tonight's the night....to do nothing...-_- [Sunday 7/10/05 @ 7:55 pm]
[ mood | content ]

totally Join!!!Collapse )

life has been so...eh...Cam thinks i'm talking major shit about him, which i haven't. I haven't said one negative thing about that boy in my entire life. And I don't plan on it. I don't dislike him in any way, and I don't see anything wrong with him.

I'm going into Boston Tomorrow (HOPEFULLY! if mother agrees) With Preston, his friends Luke, Rylan and Nick (or was it Rick.....?) It hsould be a good time. We're going to see Dark Water and do a little shopping. Well...they are at least...I have no money...therefore, the only money i will have is for my train ticket aaaand my movie ticket. That's even if I go...

I still can't get himoutta my head. It's not even that i like him any more. I just still care for him I guess. I guess it's like a cut...and even with those i heal slowly. Nevermind something on the inside...

1 | comment

I just wish my 11:11 were a truth.... [Tuesday 7/5/05 @ 11:33 pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

I honestly do not think Mary realizes how much she is ruining my life. Her not letting me even converse with her daughter is putting so much strain on me i honestly think i'm going to get an ulser or something. Mavreen was my best friend. I told her everything. We'd sit on the phone every night and pour our hearts out as if we were getting money to do so or something. We'd laugh, giggle, up until we'd tell eachother our deepest darkest secrets...and then fall asleep.

Here I am, once again, I'm torn into pieces. can't deny it can't pretend. Just thought you were the one. Broken Up, Deep inside. But you don't get to see the tears I cry

Mary has definately ruined my life indefinitely. Since I can't even meet Eyes with Mavreen, Stephanie obviously wants just about nothing to do with me. She is also one of Reens closet treasures, and since she can still see Reen (although she was at fault also, not as much as I since I was also into the drugs that she was not, but that is beside the fact) she isn't going to have Reen and I together, under Mary's jurisdiction. And is Steph is usually around Reen, I am basically cut out of the picture. Not only that, but everyone is held together through stephanie. Therefor, i'm basically outcasted. You know how in pictures, they'll have a bunch of friends, and then one will be in grey because no one sees them anymore? Yea...I'd be that friend.

Swallow me than spit me out. For hating you I blame myself. Seeing you it kills me now. No I don't cry on the outside Anymore...

I'm writing this is my eyes swell with tears and black eyeliner. Mary obviously does not realize how much her doppler affect has costed me. And if she has, honestly I think she isn't too good of a person and holds no heart at all. And if I ever do learn to forgive her for ruining my life this way...I don't know if I'd want to.

Cuz I can't breathe...No I can't sleep...I'm barely hanging on...

Everything is just spiraling downward in my life. My love life, is catastrophic. It still hurts so much...But I'm getting better at lying. I laugh a lot...and sometimes i'm even really truly laughing. Mostly with nicole...she makes me so happy. My voice is starting to change and i'm getting a different Range. I do not want a different effing range. I'm liking my voice now. I do not want it to change. I have no best friend. I have no one to rely on and keep my emotionally stable. And I'm sick of getting hurt...not only am I getting hurt...but they don't even know they're doing it so it's not like they're assholes or anything...

I just wish everything would be okay...

3 | comment

...Let my Smile be like a Breath of Spring....... [Saturday 7/2/05 @ 11:10 pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I'm begging of you please don't take me man. Please don't take him just because you can. Your beauty it beyond compare, your flaming lights of auburn hair,with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green....

Well It's official. My worst nightmare has definately come true. But in a way, it seems like a breath of fresh air, as if i were under water for song long, and finally gotten air. But as the air filled my lungs, it was as if someone tied a cinder block to my ankle and i sunk deep below the depths of love...As if i knew it were finally final. I'm not going to cry about it like some stupid little school girl. I'm happy.

He talks about you in his sleep, there's nothing I can do to keep from crying when he calls your name, Jolene. And I can easily understand how you could easily take my man but you don't know what he means to me, Jolene...

Fireworks tonight...uneventful...parentals wouldn't let me sleep over nicoles because they hate me...and I them. Therefor all is even between the two of us.

I need to do a lot of reflecting...I don't know why I'm here anymore...

4 | comment

Songs can explain so much... [Thursday 6/30/05 @ 10:00 pm]
[ mood | content ]

The summer is officially my oyster. Besides the whole i really need money/I need to memorize all this shit for my opera oooor Gori/God will kill me. I got my report card, surprisingly, i passed both Algebra and History, the two subjects i swore i was going to fail miserably and have to decide which one i would have to go to summer school for...

Everything else was fine. :D. I'm officially officially a junior at the haverhill high school.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so i don't get hurt...

So those pills finally wore off...no more vomiting...or anything of that sort. Ugh those pills were horrendous. I can honestly say i think i could have a decent and fulfilled life never feeling like i did after taking those pills ever again.

Because of you I just try to forget everything. because of you I am afriad...because of you I'm ashamed of my love...

1 | comment

So many things..... [Wednesday 6/29/05 @ 11:39 am]
[ mood | crappy ]

Yea so that day I went to go pick up Erika @ Carters on my bike....Yea I got hit by a goddamned mini van. It's so wonderful to know that cars are looking both ways before they decide to approach into ongoing traffic. At first I felt fine...but now all my joints that seemed to have been affected just a smidge are tearing in pain.

So Half the Barnyard Gang met up to hang out yesterday. (Nick, Cam and I to be precise) And we did out usual thing, but I decided to pop three caffine pills so I wouldn't be burnt out and get all jeeped up and hyper and shit.

Too bad i took too many and spent most of my night either lying awake with stomach pains on my bed, or with my head in the toilet. I feel completely and utterly disgusting. My stomach is still in knots, and my face is a mess (just because i look sickly), I hate those fucking Brooks Pharmacy knockoff Caffine Pills shit. Ugh They make you wanna die.

And I do

1 | comment

How in the life of one night did we come...so far? [Monday 6/27/05 @ 3:13 pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

I wanna cry but i know it'll fuck up my eyeliner that i put on less than an hour ago. I knew this would happen...i fucking knew it. I hate my life. I always try to look on the optomistic side of things. It isn't happening

I'm riding my bike to Georgetown to hang out with the love of my life, Erika.

4 | comment

And her eyes were filling with muddy mabelline tears.... [Sunday 6/26/05 @ 2:37 pm]
[ mood | confused ]

come 'n get itCollapse )

Summer has been amazing so far. I am loving Iolanthe practice sooo much. And Im getting closer and closer with T-Byg. Haha if ya don't know what that is, don't worry about it, I doubt you need to.

I'm sorta freeish all this week. Like, i have plans scattered that are just gonna happen whenever im free...so if anyone feels the need to hang out with me. Like you need your dose of gay or something, just let me know.

I honestly don't even know why I kid myself thinking about him so much. I mean obviously he feels nothing or he prolly woulda said something by now, right? Well...i don't know. I mean, I haven't said anything either and I still feel it.

Why me?

2 | comment

Don't ever lose that light in your eyes.... [Tuesday 6/21/05 @ 7:47 pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]


Musicals (Chronological Order):
Wizard of Oz: Tinman
The Music Man: Winthrop Paroo
Wonderland: Unicorn and porper authority
How to Succeed in business without really trying: Bud Frump
Jesus Christ Superstar: Thaddieus

Music Performances:
HHS Winter Concert 2004
HHS Spring Concert 2005
Moonlight Productions Valentine's Duet night

Regular Plays:
And Never been Kissed
Voices From the High School

Iolanthe: Lord Chancellor

YAY! If you're a friend of mine, and have nothing to do early and september...come see me in my first opera...uh...EVER! I just foudn otu I got this part no more than an hour ago!

I am SO HAPPY! :D :D :D

It's so hard to give advice to a friend, when you actually want them. When they ask you about their infatuations and what they should do and such. You just want to run outside and kiss them in the hard rain until the moon is high above your head.

1 | comment

Screw the mailbox...let's egg her... [Monday 6/20/05 @ 1:15 pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I've officially Passed Biology for the year! YESS! Honestly, I don't think I will ever have to walk into Mrs. Johnston's room of science and wildlife for the rest of my High School Career. And I am happy, and sad about that. Her classes seemed to be fairly interesting at times, and at others I felt like I could just fall asleep on effing command in that class.

I have no idea how I did on History. Some parts I knew, some I didn't. It was all multiple choice, so hopefully God loved me enough to let me circle in the correct letters and PASS for the year. I honestly think Pike Hates me.

Mr. Pike:You're missing things in your notebook...I'm giving you a B+
Andre: What am I missing??
Mr. Pike:uhd...er...stuff...

Too bad I copied EVERYTHING Lizz Rafferty had...and she got an A.

2 MORE DAYS! and then until summer school(Algebra sucks)the summer is my oyster.

It's really funny how life turns out. You think you'll be best friends with someone forever...and then life pulls a 180 on you...and your life is automatically just flipped upside down. To some degree I guess i'm willing to take this life.

I just wish I could have had a combo...ya know?


[Saturday 6/18/05 @ 2:10 pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

Why do things HATE to go my way!? It's like the bonds of gravity are not successfully fulfilled unless something happens to ME. Oh well...Reen's birthday party is tonight. Surprisingly her mother is letting me enter the domain of the HOSTESSES humble abode. Even though Steph is the one throwing the party for Reen, obviously Reen's mom has the last say. Oh what a patron saint she is...seeing as how her daughter is just as faulted if not more than I, and yet her daughter is no longer being punished and her mom still believes I deserve to be bruning int he putrid crevices of hell.

On a lighter note, I'm finally doing my first year of MYPT. And LOVING it! I've missed Cailen so much...and now I get to spend every thursday and saturday singing and laughing and being HAPPY with my former hubby.(until I decided girls weren't my thing...)Not only that, but a lot of haverhill High School students that I converse with relatively often, are doing the show. So hopefully I will get the chance to empower my relationships with these few people.

Cailen's boytoy is a riot.

How am I supposed to tell a boy just how I feel when I don't even want to admit it to myself? Getting hurt, along with girls, are just 2 things that i am NOT into. Maybe he'll tell me just how he feels, and sweep me off my feet with charming vocabulary and give me that cute smile he has. And then we'll be together after announcing our feelings for eachother in the pouring hard warm summer rain. Followed my an intimate kiss of shared emotion and holding that you feel you could live off of.

Or maybe my feelings for him will fade before I get the balls to tell him how I feel...

1 | comment

And another Chapter is consumed in my being... [Sunday 6/12/05 @ 7:21 pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

I've decided. Livejournal is definately needed in my effing life. I need somewhere to vent. Some place to remember in grave detail everything that I do and think. Not only that, but I also like seeing peoples reactions to my own thoughts.

Things have been so out of control lately. I can no longer see my best friend because her mom went through her diary. Gues what sheee foouuund. Every little detail about the three drinking parties that took place at my humble abode. Can't the bitch get a lock or something!?

Molly's Sweet Sixteen was yesterday. I can honestly say I loved the ocmpany of each and every one of her friends that I got acquainted with (which was everyone at the Party) I need to hang out with them again soon.

Turned 16 on Wednesday. So many things come with the arrival of this number. I can have sex legally now(Not that i plan on it.), I can get my Driver's Permit, I can get in a lot more trouble if caught shoplifting again.(heh...) Life is just full of surprises.

I love the rain. So much.

How do I tell a guy how I feel about him? This isn't fair...and I can't tell how he feels either. I really wish I could just send out some sort of brain wave and see if it responds with an "I love you" from the one i long for.

God life can suck sometimes.

I will be updating more than imaginable without necessarily being annoying. Promise

3 | comment

[Saturday 4/30/05 @ 7:29 pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Mr. Pike hates me. I haven't missed one homework assignement this semester, yet he ironically states I am missing three. Yea okay Crackhead. Well, my dad decided that if I cleaned the whole household on saturday, I can still hang out with people on Sunday. Finally, tomorrow I will be going with Kevin to help with his Tech day. Haha I've really been urging to meet them. Haha All i've met is Kristen, who is definately one of the sweetest girls i have ever met. After the movie Reen, Kim, Kev and I are supposed to be seeing Amityville Horror. Should be a blast :D

Reen's calling...I'm out


[Wednesday 4/20/05 @ 5:00 pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

entry below the cut bitchCollapse )

2 | comment

[Friday 4/1/05 @ 4:39 pm]
He's guilt tripping me...

Too bad it's not working. I don't feel any compassion for him. I thought I did but...I just don't. I know it's gonna hurt...but all the ellejay shit which he knows i'm gonna read is unnecessary. Therefore I have vowed not to read it anymore...
2 | comment

haha MY HAIR IS CUTE! [Tuesday 3/29/05 @ 8:17 pm]
[ mood | content ]

Myke's ex has been bitching about me in his journal...heh...I don't wanna sound really rude or anything. I'm really sure he's a great kid, but I seriously find it inappropriate and unnecessary to bitch about me...I mean, I can understand his being mad, but...why me?

In other news, Myke got his job @ Water COuntry! YAY! Sorry i wasn't answering my phone lolz I was asleep.

I shoul dbe starting up Voice Lessons again one my parents can start to pay for it...ugh not to mention the other $50 I need for the limo for prom, my prom ticket, and my tux. Ugh I really do need to call my boss and tell him i need more hours. Seeing as how I haven't worked in months.

If anyone is interested in going to Club 125 Saturay night with Me and a bergillion others, lemme know :]]. 9 PM-1 AM

All my Emo hair is gone...it's all spikey once again...haha well people seem to like it.

13 | comment

[Saturday 3/19/05 @ 10:30 pm]
Paige and I have been grounded all weekend...so we're just chillen'. I just watched some weird thing on www.the-tape.com hahaha...interesting. James got me obsessed with MySpace...so go check it out whores!

I just watched the movie "elephant"...and now I am officially fearing school on Monday. It scares me to think something like that could happen at our school...If you haven't seen it..watch it. It's a great movie.

I should prolly be in bed now....
6 | comment

[Sunday 3/13/05 @ 11:06 am]
[ mood | full ]

So 3.12.05 is over. And honestly...it was nothing like 3.12.04...not as good...since we couldn't get anything...:[[[. But I found a little and I was all happy like :D. It was a fun time tho. Very Very fun :]]]].

JC went pretty well the first two nights. Last night my cell phone fell while I was on stage and shattered...good lord it was terrible. I picked it up and held it in my hands and just clenched the sides of my cloak like i was holding it up. I don't think many people noticed...but i still felt pretty stuupid. oh wellz.

see my days are cool without you. But I'm hurting while away. But my heart can't take no more I keep running back to you

Don't you hate it when you don't talk to someone forever, and you totally feel nothing for them...and then you talk, and everything you liked about them sorta drifts back into your memory. I hate that...especially when you have no idea what the other person thinks of you either.

I think I'm gonna see if Kirs10 wants to hang out. I miss her
survey thaaangCollapse )

8 | comment

Screw the mailbox...let's egg her... [Wednesday 3/9/05 @ 4:07 pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

I hate liars. Dispise them with every fiber in my being. Especially when they not only try to destory two of my best friends friendship with eachother, but when they try to hurt me in one of the sickest ways i've ever imagined. I'm not planning on forgiving her...but me being the forgiving ass that I am...I just might after a duration of time. But I'll never forget the way you hurt me...It was inappropriate and inconsiderate and intolerable. Why?? What made you feel the need to try and do this to me?

I have Jesus Christ SUperstar Rehearsal in like...2 hours. I'm honestly too tired to go...seriously. And JT hates me anyways...and they want my money...ugh I dislike this feeling with a passion. Upside...Jesus Christ superstar opens friday and ends NEXT Saturday. And then I won't have to put up w/ him EVER AGAIN :D. And Wateridge rehearsal is starting up soon...should be fun! :]]]

3.11.05 is on it's way...:]]]...heeheehee

3 | comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]